STUDENT REQUEST – Long Distance Dating in College…10 Tips to Success!

ldr

Sometimes students write-in about a topic they want to hear about this is one of them. I certainly would’ve never thought so many high school seniors were discussing the idea of pursuing a long-distance relationship, but they are!  – Sontaia

Undoubtedly, your Senior year of high school flew by in a whirlwind of parties, dates, finals, and fun. Before you know it, you’ll be leaving for college.

What happens if you’re headed to one college and your ‘Boo’ is headed in a completely different direction? Can you survive a long distance relationship? Yes, It can be done, but it will take work!

Let’s look at the top 10 tips for maintaining a successful long distance relationship.

1. Realistic Expectations, but stay positive. It’s important to understand that not all long distance relationships do work, so don’t automatically assume that your relationship will. That being said, stay positive. Don’t give into paranoia and allow your imagination to run away with you. Don’t read too much into a distracted/negative a tone when on the phone or slow text message replies. If you have any concerns, discuss them with your partner, but don’t approach the conversation with an accusatory tone.

2. Keep it Interesting by utilizing technology. We have Skype, Google Hangouts, INSTAGRAM and Twitter great ways to keep things interesting! Send thinking of you’ text messages just because. Send him/her a love TWEET.  INSTAGRAM a cool picture that reminds them of a special time spent together. Be creative, be thoughtful. Note: Space magnifies inconsideration.

3. The Mail. Yes, that box outside your home where tuition bills will come to your parents’. Seriously it’s a rare treat to get anything in the actual mail today. Surprise your girl or boyfriend with a sweet or funny card, short note, or small gift. It’s a great way to show that you care and are thinking about him or her even when you are not together.

4. Schedule Online Dates. It may sound silly, but it is worth it. Set up Skype/Google Hangouts sessions beforehand and treat them like you would an in-person date. Try not to cancel or be late. Look good. (You don’t have to dress up, but don’t show up with a pore cleansing mask or friends in the background either.) Consider sending him/her flowers or a small package to arrive beforehand. Order delivery in their city, pay for it, and have it delivered as your date is beginning. It’s easy to get caught up in school and friends and neglect the person you love. Schedule time for each other.

5. TRUST.  They key to any relationship a cliché’, I know. But it can’t be iterated enough, if there is no TRUST. There is no relationship! One of the most common causes for a Long Distance relationship ending is because one partner does not trust the other. That being said, don’t automatically look the other way if you believe something is wrong, bring it up without sounding accusatory and discuss your fears.

6. VISIT.  As often as possible. This can be difficult due to being in school and on a limited budget, but it is an important component of surviving the distance relationship. Consider meeting each other halfway a few times, but also take the time to visit him or her at school. If you are able to meet your girl/guy friends and visit their hangout spots, conversations will be better because you will have an idea of who or what they are talking about. Simply put, you’ll feel that you are more a part of their life.

7. Don’t Forget about Yourself. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t still go out with friends and explore everything college has to offer. For any relationship to work, you have to be able to function independently. Otherwise, you are going to end up miserable waiting on him or her to text or call you. Get out and do something and encourage your partner to do the same!

8. BE SUPPORTIVE. Remind your girl/guy to take of their needs. While you may feel anxious about telling him/her to go out and explore (potentially meet) other attractive people. That’s life. Encourage your partner to go out with friends too. Trust what you have OR end it. Don’t expect them to spend their college years sitting in a dorm room waiting for your call/text, while everyone else is having fun.

9. TEMPTATION. There are plenty of temptations at college, so try not to put yourself in a position where you may do something you later regret. For example, if you are attracted to the guy/girl that sits next to you in Biology (and especially if it seems like he may feel the same way), he is NOT the one to study with, DON’T KID YOURSELF THERE ARE OTHERS SUITABLE STUDY PARTNERS. Along the same lines, if you are feeling lonely, it may not be the right night to head over to a party where you know guys/girls are going to flirt with you. There is nothing wrong with flirtation in context. Your context you have a significant other and flirting will only lead to deeper problems.

10. BE MATURE and really communicate with each other. Talking and emailing each other can result in a very strong relationship. In fact, long conversations are often a good way to remember why you decided to continue the relationship in the first place. Talk about what matters. Don’t let your conversations become superficial.  Be mature, if you are ‘feeling differently’ about the relationship communicate this. People change their minds. If you aren’t able to accept that, then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship.

Finally the common denominator for any successful romantic relationship’s success is you.  Be Mature, Honest and Communicate. Don’t draw  to conclusion on your own and keep the inner dialogue (in your head) to a minimum. You’re in college and some of you for the first time! Have fun, be honest and only commit to what you really want to do. GOOD LUCK.

If you have other suggestions we would love to read them in the comments section!

Team yoU!

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2 Comments

  1. There were some very good points. I feel as if most articles if not all the ones I have read always have a negative cloud over them. They don’t really give you the great parts of being in a LDR(Long Distance Relationship) such as “The same feelings possibly come back to you when you see the person again” or “looking forward to talking to someone who is not on your campus” not to mention “college breaks tend to be long so if this is a person from hometown you might get a decent chunk of time to spend with them anyways” not to mention “why should you live your life on campus being known as a couple rather than an amazing person with a significant other who is lucky to have them”.

    We don’t focus on the pros of an LDR such as “if you guys get into an argument the whole campus doesn’t end up knowing” and personally for the females (because females have all the same tendencies) we really don’t want to see another girl making a move or living it up with what we considered our “leftovers.”You can get way too caught up in the relationship as well. LDR’s make you really evaluate your relationship, you can develop stronger communication with the person rather than physical.

    One of the most important rules we tend to forget if he/she really loves you and values you they will want the relationship regardless of distance. You guys have places to explore and experiences to have to fully mature, anyone whose really into you will honor that. Sorry for the length , but I think most LDRs are really questioned not for the fact of distance anymore but more for the fact of there’s less chances of sexual activity – our society is sexually driven so we think its a necessity.

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